


Lasting Dawn

by Why_do_you_want_to_know



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abused Dean Winchester, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Animal Shifter Charlie Bradbury, Animal Shifter Dean Winchester, Awesome Charlie Bradbury, Castiel Has Self-Worth Issues (Supernatural), Castiel's Magic is Bound, Charlie Bradbury & Castiel Friendship, Dark Past, Death of a minor character with a major affect on the story, Depressed Castiel (Supernatural), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fox Charlie, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Injured Dean Winchester, Lonely Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Magic, Magical Castiel (Supernatural), Nightmares, No actual planning or anything like that, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Recluse Castiel (Supernatural), Serious Injuries, Suicidal Thoughts, These tags are not in chronological order, To the extent of thinking he deserves to die, Witch Castiel (Supernatural), Witch's Familiar Charlie Bradbury, Witch's Familiar Dean Winchester, Wolf Dean Winchester, self-exiled Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28451073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Why_do_you_want_to_know/pseuds/Why_do_you_want_to_know
Summary: Castiel had spent the last seven years living in his isolated cabin in the woods. It's where he chose to be, with his magic bound and his only visitor his childhood friend Charlie who refused to stop worrying about him.He wasn't happy there, but it was where he deserved to be, and that wouldn't change, no matter what Charlie said.But then one day a wolf collapsed in his garden, injured and scarred and covered in blood, and Castiel knew he couldn't just leave it to die. When he came back from a walk the next day to find a human in his kitchen, with the same scars and injuries as the wolf, and nowhere else to go, Castiel realised what must have happened, and despite knowing better, he allowed the familiar to stay with him.Little did he know exactly how much of his life his new friend would change.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury & Castiel, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester
Comments: 83
Kudos: 147





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this story... back in the summer sometime, wrote about half of the entire thing, and then temporarily abandoned it in favour of some other works I had going on. But now it's here, and it is my new years resolution to get it done! I've wanted to write a long Witch/Familiar Au for ages, and apparently this story idea is the one which is going to finally do it!  
> No idea about posting schedule, but I will aim for either once a week, or once every two weeks, though it will change based on how life goes, and how much free time I have.  
> Have a very happy New Year!!!

The sun was streaming through the trees, brightening up Castiel’s cabin and filling the entire area with that kind of weightless light which only ever seemed to come when the sun was low in the sky, only happening in the summer early in the morning, or late at night. The patches of sky Castiel could see between the trees were cloudless and that perfect shade of light blue which barely felt real, like a three year old painted it, rather than it being the real sky. It was what most people would count as a perfect day. 

Castiel on the other hand, was only out of bed and seeing that day, for one reason.

That reason was currently driving up his driveway, her ugly yellow Gremlin reflecting the sun and blinding Castiel as he stood on his front porch with a mug of black coffee, waiting for her. He had a frown on his face, not sure whether he was more annoyed at being awake at this time of morning, or if he was annoyed about being awake full stop, but he needed the supplies and Charlie had a job to get to, so for her to complete the forty minute drive, help him unpack everything, and then get back in time to start work, she needed to come early.

Charlie was Castiel’s best friend. Actually, she was pretty much his only friend by now, but that was a separate issue. They had been friends for years, since when they were just little kids who lived in the local town and only ever took the drive to the forest to have picnics. Back when Castiel was learning basic magic and Charlie was learning to shift and they used to discuss what kind of person they were going to be bonded to in the future.

They don’t talk about that now, not since Castiel had moved out to the forest, living the recluse life with only Charlie for company when she brought him supplies. 

It was best like this. It was best he was alone.

“Morning Castiel!” Charlie called with a grin as she leaped out of her car, practically throwing herself into Castiel’s arms to give him a hug, nearly sending his coffee flying. It was only the fact he’d been expecting the hug which saved his drink. Castiel grumbled - like he always did - but begrudgingly hugged the smaller familiar back.

“Hello Charlie,” he replied, his throat sore from disuse. He took a sip of his coffee, hoping to soothe it, but no one’s ever raved about coffee for it’s healing benefits, so predictably it did very little. When was the last time he spoke? Probably last time Charlie had come to visit him. She always wanted to come more, but Castiel refused. She had her own life to live, and Castiel had his life to sleepwalk through. It would be stupid for Charlie to waste her life trying to help Castiel with his meaningless one. When Cas had first moved into his cabin, before he got used to the quiet, he had talked to everything. He talked to himself, the plants, the insects and the animals. Now he was used to it so he hardly talked at all, allowing the silence to fill the empty corners of his cabin and barely even noticing how quiet things got at night when all the animals went to sleep.

Barely.

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t lonely, or if he didn’t admit that sometimes he wished to hear voices other than Charlie’s, or recorded people from the internet. Even then he didn’t watch videos very often, the Wi-Fi in the forest wasn’t bad, Castiel just couldn’t find the energy within himself to look. To see what the outside world was like, away from the safety of his cabin. The laptop Charlie had brought him one day was to help them keep in touch, and nine times out of ten it wasn’t for anything more. It was only on his weakest days that he used his laptop for anything else, normally he just read to pass the time. However when he did use the laptop, he was actually able to. Castiel wouldn’t say he was a computer genius, but he could find his way around it and knew more than you’d expect from someone who lived in the middle of a forest. 

But he was alone for a reason, and not even a tiny bit of loneliness was going to change that.

“How’re you doing today?” Charlie asked with a wide smile which was only slightly strained. Castiel knew that she struggled, it hurt her to see how Castiel lived, she just wanted the best for him and refused to believe him when he said that this was what was best for him.

“I’m doing okay,” Castiel answered, at least partially truthfully. There was a hollow silence hanging between them, Charlie clearly wanted Castiel to elaborate, but Castiel was not going to say anything more. The more detail he gave, the more holes Charlie would pick in it and say he was lying.

And maybe he was, but that wasn’t the point and Castiel was not going to admit that.

“Hmm,” Charlie hummed after an uncomfortable minute, sounding highly disbelieving. She didn’t ask him again, like some people might have, instead she just gestured to Castiel’s face, probably his eyes if Castiel had to give an exact location. “Nightmares?”

Castiel sighed loudly. He didn’t even know why he ever thought he could pretend to be 100% fine with Charlie. Even if she never found the whole truth, she always picked up on the little details. That was probably why she was such a good computer programmer, but it didn’t exactly help Castiel’s situation.

“A few,” he muttered, trying to play it off as not a big thing. He didn’t say any more, if Charlie wanted details she could drag them out of him, he wasn’t going to say any more by choice.

“Castiel!” Charlie complained, standing right in front of him as though she thought she could intimidate him into realising this wasn’t okay. It wasn’t like he didn’t already realise that, he just didn’t care. “You’re still having nightmares? Regularly?”

Castiel shrugged awkwardly, a quiet “most nights,” slipping out before he could stop himself. Damn Charlie and her puppy dog eyes! Her other form wasn’t even a dog, and he was fairly sure foxes weren't known for their very innocent expressions, but that had never stopped her before and he doubted it would any time in the future.

“Castiel! You need help! Locking yourself away will not make this better! You need to talk to someone, by this point it could be anyone, you just need to talk!” She practically shouted at him, clearly more worried about his mental state than he was. In his opinion it didn’t matter what happened to him, but Charlie more than disagreed with that.

“Look, I’m fine,” Castiel sighed, “Can you please just help me with those supplies.” He gestured to Charlie’s car, reminding her why she was even here and hopefully changing the subject onto a topic they don’t argue about basically every time Charlie came over.

“Yeah, alright, come on,” Charlie sighed, going to the car and grabbing a few bags to take inside. It took them a few minutes to get all the bags inside the cabin and Castiel was overjoyed to see more coffee grounds within one of the bags he was carrying in. He’d been running out and wasn’t sure how he would have survived without it.

“Alright, I’ll help unpack,” Charlie announced with a crack of her knuckles. She’d done this enough times, and Castiel had never rearranged stuff, so she knew where everything went and with her help Cas had everything put away twice as quickly as he would have without her. Maybe even quicker than that, as her energy levels were a lot higher than Castiel’s.

By the time they finished the kitchen was clear and everything was in its place, even some potion ingredients which Castiel had seen Charlie sneak into the old spell cabinet, even though Castiel knew - and had told her a million times - that he would never use them. She was convinced that even though his magic was bound, he could still do spell work as long as he stuck to potions. Castiel had grown bored of trying to explain that he didn’t want to make potions, her innocent ‘just in case’ able to ruin any arguments he had. Just in case. Just in case of what? What could possibly happen that would require him to need to use magic, instead of just doing things the human way?

“Thanks for the help Charlie,” Castiel said honestly as he folded the last shopping bag, piling them on the table for Charlie to take back home with her, it wasn’t like he had any use for shopping bags, even if they were bags for life. The silence of the kitchen told him that he was alone and Castiel couldn’t help but wonder how he hadn’t heard her leave. Either she was extremely sneaky or Castiel needed to stop zoning out. With an annoyed sigh Castiel spun on his heels, walking through his cabin slowly, looking for his friend.

He found her in his living room, staring sadly at her surroundings. Castiel didn’t know why, it wasn’t like the room was that bad, in fact Castiel thought it was the coziest room in his entire cabin, but either Charlie didn’t agree or something else was upsetting her.

“What’s up?” he asked softly, walking forwards to stand next to her. She was shifting from one foot to the other, like she knew what she was about to say was going to annoy him, but she was going to say it anyway. Castiel could tell that her ears would be twitching if she was in her animal form, her tail probably swishing from side to side in agitation as well.

“You need to get out of here,” she said, turning to face Castiel, certainty filling her eyes, “You don’t have to move out, just come into town from time to time, get a job,” Castiel opened his mouth to speak, but Charlie held up her hand to stop him, “yes I know your parents trust fund keeps you financially stable, but you need a job for the social part. You need to talk to people, you need friends.”

Castiel waited a moment, making sure Charlie was finished before he started talking, “What brought this on?” Every single point Charlie had made today, had been made a million times in the past - except for the job one, that one was new - so Castiel didn’t bother replying to those points. He would just be saying what he’d said every other time and no one likes repeating themselves that many times. Well, that had never stopped Charlie, but Charlie was different. She cared enough about Castiel to spout the same stuff a million times.

“Your cabin,” Charlie said helplessly, raising her arms to gesture to the room around them, “nothing has changed since I was last here, everything is in the exact same place, everything is the same as before.”

Castiel looks around the room, clearly not seeing the same thing as Charlie was, because he couldn’t see any problems. “So? I haven’t redecorated, that’s not a big thing.”   
  
“Nothing has changed, you are just doing the same things over and over,” Charlie growls, her fox voice bleeding into her human one due to her high emotions, “This is no way to live! You’re my best friend! I can’t just sit back and let you live like this. You’re twenty five years old! You should be out there enjoying life, not stuck in a cabin which looks exactly the way it did when you first moved in.” There were actual tears spilling from her eyes and Castiel could feel his heart give a painful squeeze. He hadn’t wanted to hurt Charlie, he never wanted to hurt Charlie, he just needed to be alone.

“I can’t,” Castiel murmured, his voice breaking slightly. If he stayed he hurt Charlie, yet he couldn’t go either. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place, no way to turn, no direction to go. “I- I can’t go.”

Charlie nodded, like she had expected that answer but it hurt anyway. “It’s okay Castiel, I understand,” she said, wiping her tears even as her voice trembled, “I’ll be back soon, text me if you need anything.”

Castiel watched helplessly as Charlie walked back to the kitchen, grabbing her bags before leaving his cabin. She climbed back into her car, waving out the window once before she started her engine and disappeared down the drive. 

He had to stay, it wasn’t a choice, it wasn’t something he could change.

His heart hurt as he turned back to his cabin, walking to his room and climbing into his bed fully clothed, too drained to undress even slightly. His eyes stung with unshed tears and the pain in his chest from the binding flared up once more, his magic reacting to the ruins trapping it inside and stopping him from using it.

He didn’t know how much longer he could do this, how much longer he could survive on his own, isolated in the forest with the weight of his memories crushing him and the burning of his magic threatening to burn him alive.

He didn’t know how much longer he could do this, yet the only reaction he had to that realisation was a soft smile. It was good, he didn’t deserve much longer. He didn’t deserve to be happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I hope everyone is have an awesome week!   
> I don't have a beta, so if you see any mistakes, please point them out in the comments so I can fix them.  
> Hope you enjoy!!!

Castiel woke up an unmeasurable time later. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, but judging from the light levels in his room, it had been hours.

Actually, it had probably been quite a few hours.

If he was right, and what he was seeing through his window really was the colour of the sky, and it wasn't just an illusion, then it was evening, sunset, and seeing as it was summer that meant it was even later than sunset normally suggested. He had slept through the entire day without even noticing it. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do, but it still shocked him just a little.

It wasn't odd for Castiel, falling asleep randomly and sleeping for hours, but it had never been this bad, he had never slept for this long after sleeping the night before. The longer he went on as he was at the moment, with his magic bound, in the forest as far away from other people as he could get, the worse he got. He was sleeping for hours at a time during the day, even when he got a full night's sleep. His appetite was gradually diminishing and his strength was definitely fading.

He was withering away, a little more gone each day, and he couldn't find it within himself to care.

He didn’t exactly have a reason to live, nor anyone who would miss him if he was gone. Sure, Charlie might be a bit sad, but it would just be one less responsibility for her, and in the long run she would probably be glad. Sure, she cared about him, but it was mainly left-over fondness from their childhood together and it wasn’t like Castiel improved her life at all. In fact, he probably just made it worse. That was normally what he did.

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked around his room in consideration. Something had woken him up, he was certain that he hadn't just woken naturally like he normally did, he just couldn't figure out what it could have been. Everything was where it was meant to be, he had no commitments outside of Charlie, and she had literally just been there. There was no reason for the ball of anxiety curled up in his chest, and yet it was there, like there was something he wasn’t noticing and that was what had woken him up.

Quiet breathing from the shadows.

Too much light for the time of day.

Too quiet roads.

Two sets of footsteps when you are walking alone through a forest.

Squeaky floorboards in old houses after dark.

The little things, the ones you assume you are imagining.

Castiel chuckled quietly to himself as he lay back down, the sound was hollow and broken, but it was the closest he had managed to a laugh for a long time. He needed to read less horror books, maybe then he wouldn’t be imagining things whenever he randomly woke up.

His room was the perfect temperature, the light levels weren’t too high, even with the curtains open, he had slept in brighter rooms than this many times, and his bed was surprisingly comfy for a cabin in the middle of the woods, but even then, it took him a while to fall asleep, the nagging feeling that something was wrong refusing to go away, no matter how much he ignored it.

Everything was okay, nothing was wrong, nothing had changed. He was just imagining things, just needed some sleep and maybe some water when he next woke, and then he would be fine. This weird feeling would be just something that happened once, forgotten in time just like he would be.

* * *

When Castiel next woke, it was completely and utterly dark, definitely night this time, he could even see a few stars twinkling on the other side of the window. Once again he didn’t know what woke him, but had the same feeling of anxiety. Like after all this time, something had changed, and he just wasn’t picking up on it.

His sternum hurt, but that was pretty run of the mill nowadays. He only had to get near something magical and his magic would react. Or more, it would try to react. The binding stopped it, so the energy turned to pain. It normally wasn’t bad, just a kind of dull ache like someone pressing on an old bruise. It hurt, but distantly, and by now Castiel was pretty much used to it. It happened whenever Charlie came round, and seeing as he still had a few magical items around to make life easier, it happened a lot while he was going through his routine. Plus there was the time back before he moved to the cabin, shortly after his magic had first been bound, when it used to happen constantly, it was what happened when you lived in a community which had such a large concentration of magic users. Now he had moved it didn’t happen so much, but that didn’t mean that he had lost the ability to ignore it.

He deserved the pain anyway. No. He deserved pain a million times worse than that, but it was a start, if nothing else.

Castiel blinked up at the ceiling in confusion, as though it would have any answers for him. Why was his sternum hurting? He’d shaken it off at first, it wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing to ever happen to him, nor the most original way to wake up - especially when he accidentally overslept on days Charlie was coming round - but Charlie definitely wasn’t here, and he kept all his magical items well away from his room for this exact reason.

So what woke him up?   
  
What set his magic off? 

Suddenly wide awake Castiel bolted upright, and grabbed the gun he kept in his bedside cabinet. He might not have any magic to protect himself with, but even magical creatures have problems with guns. He may have never had to use it, and he wasn't sure he would be able to use it if push came to shove, but it was strangely comforting to have it. Just in case. He wasn’t helpless, no matter what his magic was trying to react to. No matter what was there. He would be okay.

With one last deep, steadying breath, Castiel started creeping out his room. He couldn’t exactly use his magic to help him find the source of his unease, not in the usual way anyway, but the ache would get bigger the closer he got to the magic. A weird game of hot and cold. That was going to be how he found whatever had invaded his property.

If he cared enough, Castiel would have found it hilarious, or possibly depressing. As it was he really didn’t care. It was a thing that was going to happen, that was how it was.

He walked slowly, his footsteps as quiet as he could get them as he checked his cabin room by room. He was almost surprised by the time he arrived at his old workroom to find no one there. He'd expected to find someone had broken in, trying to steal something or maybe swipe some spell ingredients from his spell cabinet, but there was nothing, no one.

So what was setting off his magic?   
  
He could still feel it, slightly duller than back in his room, but still there. There was something magical on his property, if they weren’t in his cabin then they must be in his garden. Why they were there Castiel had no idea, but if they were a threat then he needed to protect himself, and if they weren’t then he needed to move them along quickly before something bad happened.

He searched carefully, walking from one side of his vegetable garden to the other, the ache in his chest getting slightly stronger as he walked. He was paying attention to the slight changes in the ache of his chest in the hope he’d be able to pinpoint the exact location and figure whatever he was sensing. It was putting him on edge, the presence of a magic that he wasn’t used to, especially when he was pretty much helpless and when he couldn’t even tell what he was feeling, the binding on his magic good enough to stop it from going forth and finding out. 

He had just passed his cabbages when he saw it, a dark figure laying in the soil. It was still, but large and Castiel doubted he would have seen it if he hadn’t been carefully looking for things which didn’t belong. Castiel couldn’t tell if it was what was causing his magic to react this way, but it still wasn’t supposed to be in his garden and it was still suspicious. He shifted into a defensive pose, his gun drawn and ready as he started walking forwards, his eyes locked on the silhouette in front of him, trying to figure out what it was so he was more prepared.

As he got closer, his view of the figure cleared and he froze, his mouth dropping open and his eyes widening. He blinked a couple of times to try and make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. Shock rushed through him as he dropped the gun and darted forwards.

A wolf was lying collapsed in his garden, clearly injured, but Castiel wouldn't be able to tell how badly until he got them into some light and gave them a proper check up. Castiel did live in a forest, but the resident wolf pack normally stayed away, so for this wolf to be here, alone, was definitely not right. His mind was at war, half of it reminding him that he still needed to find the magical intruder, while the other part reminded him that this was an innocent wolf, it wasn’t right to leave them to hurt just because his magic said there was something nearby, even though Castiel was yet to find any evidence of such. The latter part won out and Castiel quickly started ignoring his magic, putting all of his focus on the prone figure in front of him. He could ignore the slight ache easily, this wolf however didn’t seem to be so lucky.

They were conscious, Castiel realised as he raised a hand to touch the animal, the wolf’s eyes snapping towards him as soon as he moved. They were conscious and hurt and had so much trust in their eyes as they looked over at Castiel, not shying away from his hand in the slightest, just watching. They trusted Castiel, trusted him not to hurt them, even as they closed their eyes, unable to see what Castiel was going to do.

The wolf sighed once, so many meanings in that one sound, before their head dropped and their limbs went limp. Clearly the pain had become too much, and Castiel needed to help them quickly if he wanted them to wake back up.

He bent down and carefully scooped the wolf into his arms, making sure not to jostle them too much or make their pain worse. Even if they were unconscious, Castiel wanted to reduce their pain, not increase it.

There was something off, something not completely right, but Castiel couldn’t figure out what it was. He was sure he would be able to, if all of his attention wasn’t focused on the wolf, but he had priorities and hurt animals would always be at the top.

Despite trying to be quiet, he knew that wolves have sensitive hearing and he didn’t want to disturb the wolf in his arms, he was unable to hold in the gasp which escaped him as soon as he walked into the light. 

He hadn’t realised how badly the poor animal had been injured, but now he could see it all laid out in front of him, he felt like he needed to either cry, puke, or both. The wolf’s fur was matted with blood, the fur colour underneath it hidden by all the red, and cuts of all sizes covering their body - the deepest on their stomach bleeding steadily and dripping blood onto Castiel’s floor - and the pads of their paws so ripped up that Castiel was not at all surprised that they collapsed in his garden. They even seem to have some burn marks on their hip, but the marks seem old and mainly healed, so Castiel knew they were the least of his worries.

He walked slowly and gently lay the wolf down in front of the fire, not close enough to risk the wolf’s coat catching alight from the sparks, or for the heat to get too much, but enough to warm the cold creature and hopefully relax them while Castiel gathered up some supplies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!  
> Hopefully you enjoyed that!!  
> Comments and kudos mean the world to me!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyy!! It's that time of the week again!! I'm back and I come bearing chapter!!  
> Hopefully you'll all like it!!!

Castiel stood still for a minute, watching the wolf to make sure that they weren’t about to disappear or catch on fire, or wherever weird and varyingly likely scenarios his mind could come up with, before walking to his kitchen. He grabbed a bowl and filled it with warm, clean, water, grabbing a bundle of clean towels on the way back. The wolf was covered in dirt and blood, and Castiel wouldn’t be able to even think about helping them until he could see what he was dealing with. He hoped this was one of those situations where it looked worse than it was and when he looked it would turn out they were actually fine, just tired, but he had the sinking feeling that it wouldn’t be.

The sinking feeling that this was one of those situations where it looked bad, and it was bad.

Or even worse. One of those situations where it looked bad, but was actually so much worse.

He shook his head quickly. He didn't have time to be speculating or thinking about the what ifs. He couldn't help the wolf - or find any answers - by wondering. He just needed to breath deeply, calm down, and go and see how bad it was. That was all. Once he knew how it was, then he could figure out how to help the wolf, and there was no point worrying until then.

By the time he returned from the kitchen, the wolf still hadn’t moved or woken up and Castiel couldn't tell if he was glad about that - he didn't want the wolf to be in more pain than they had to be in - or even more worried than before, but he was definitely leaning towards the more worried option. What if he was too late? What if by ignoring the feeling that something was wrong for so long, he lost the time he needed to save the wolf?

He shook his head again, harder, a slight ache appearing behind his eyes from how quickly he moved his head. The wolf wasn't gone yet, their chest was still raising and falling - albeit with laboured breaths - and they were still there. They hadn’t disappeared and they hadn’t died while Castiel had been in a different room, so he counted that as a win.

Murmuring softly under his breath, Castiel knelt down next to the wolf and dipped one of the towels into the water. He waited until it was soaked before he wrung it out and used it to start cleaning the wolf’s fur.

Within moments the towel was stained brown and red, the blood and mud which had been covering the wolf’s fur covering the previously white towel, and Castiel was thankful he had thought to bring more than one towel. He could already tell that to clean the wolf enough to even see what he was doing would take more than one.

As more of the dirt was washed off, Castiel was finally able to see what the wolf actually looked like. They had grey fur, darker at the tips but snow white near the skin, with darker patches on their forehead and back. They looked like most other grey wolves, except for the slight honey hue of their fur, and their strikingly green eyes. Castiel was fairly sure wolves didn’t have green eyes, but this one did so maybe some did? He’d have to ask Charlie when he next saw her.

The wolf was larger than most of the grey wolves Castiel had seen before, but Castiel didn’t normally pay much attention to the size of wolves, so that wasn’t exactly shocking. They looked fairly young, still an adult but probably hadn’t been one for long, and Castiel was fairly sure that something bad had happened to them. Beside the obvious being covered in blood thing, their paws were basically shredded - like they had been running for a long time - and the longer Castiel looked at them, the more certain he was that they weren’t from the woods. He would have heard something if there was a fight big enough to cause these injuries, and the wolf’s paws wouldn’t have been this shredded by running across the forest.

Clearly they were from further out, but Castiel couldn’t think of many other wolf packs nearby, which meant this wolf must have been running a worryingly large distance before they collapsed in Castiel’s garden.

Castiel felt tears start slipping down his face the more he wiped off the wolf’s fur. It was too much blood. They might have stayed alive so far, but their breathing was laboured and they had been passed out for at least half an hour by now. Their wounds had stopped bleeding and Castiel could tell they wouldn’t make it to morning. He doubted they would even make it to the next hour.

They would never see the sun again.

They would never run through the woods ever again.

They would never howl or see their family or breathe in the fresh air ever again.

They weren’t old, they had so much life ahead of them, but now, because of some unknown event, all the life that was left for them was lying in front of Castiel’s fire while he murmured useless words in their ears.

Useless.

He was useless.

He had no magic to heal them, and no other skills to help them beat this.

The wolf had looked right into his eyes, intelligence and pain and knowing and feelings and trust had filled those eyes. The last thing the wolf had seen was Castiel before they had drifted off, putting their faith into Castiel that they would ever open their eyes again.

But now?   
  
Now they would never see anything again.

Now the last thing they would ever see would be the face of the person who had failed them.

Castiel didn’t even know why this was hitting him so hard, death was a normal part of life. Plants died every day, he saw them as he walked through the forest. Dead animal carcasses were not a new sight and he killed insects regularly. This wolf had probably killed many animals in their life, and what goes around comes around and all that.

It was just… This wolf… They were different.

They had a look in their eyes, and Castiel couldn’t ignore it.

They had a life which plants never managed. An intelligence smaller animals never managed. A sense of feeling which insects never gave off.

The wolf had looked at him with trust in their eyes. Even just the thought of betraying that trust physically hurt him.

But, human medicine wouldn’t heal them. There was no non magical way to heal the wolf from injuries like this. Castiel only had basic supplies anyway, and the wolf would definitely not survive the trip to the nearest vets.

Castiel couldn’t let them die, but he didn’t have any way to save them either.

He gently reached out his hands, spreading the fur on their front so he could get a closer look at the wound, as though knowing exactly why the wolf was dying would help him stop it. He knew this wouldn’t change anything, whether he knew exactly what was wrong or not, the wolf would continue getting worse. It didn’t matter if it was infected or not while the wolf’s breathing continued getting worse. It didn’t matter how deep it was when it was barely even bleeding anymore, the blood loss was so bad.

That didn’t stop him.

He still peered closely, paying attention to how deep it was, how much healing it would need to close. He frowned at the yellowness of the flesh, a sure-fire way to tell it was infected, and then frowned even deeper when he saw the deathly paleness of the wolf’s skin. They were still around. But not for much longer.

The wound was clearly from a claw of some kind, some bigger animal than a wolf, maybe a bear? It wasn’t like it mattered, Castiel would never figure out.

But maybe… He had no magic of his own, but he did have magic in the house…

With a sudden rush of hope Castiel threw himself to his feet, barrelling down the hallway and to his old workroom. He’d still had his magic bound when he first moved here, just 18 years old but desperate to get away from other people, but he’d been paranoid so had built a cabin with a workroom so he could boil potions, the kind which needed magic to activate them, but a lot less magic than normal spells needed. Obviously he hadn’t actually gotten around to brewing any potions, his guilt returning the second he even saw the ingredients he would need, but he still knew the practice, had the equipment, and he knew that Charlie had been keeping all his supply cabinets stocked, like having the ingredients nearby would tempt him into using them.

It never had, but right now he had never been more thankful for Charlie’s scheming.

He grabbed a bowl and filled it with water, thanking the universe that the healing spell he knew wasn’t overly complicated. He already had everything he needed, and now he just had to hope that his magic binding was loose enough that he could summon enough magic to complete this. It would be difficult, and also agony, and he was seriously wondering why he was so certain the wolf was worth all this, but he knew it was and knew that he would go through anything to heal the wolf, so honestly physical agony probably was one of his better options.

With a decisive nod he gathered all the ingredients he would need and hurried back to the living room, a tsunami of relief washing through him when he saw the wolf was still there, still breathing, still hanging onto life like it knew that as soon as it let go it would be gone forever.

“It’s okay,” he whispered into the empty air as he ground up some leaves and mixed some rainwater and a powdered snake venom, along with a few other ingredients. He almost missed the good old days when ingredients were only needed for the strongest spells, and even healing a wound like the wolf’s only needed a wave of his hand and a chant. “It’ll be okay. Just hang in there, just a little longer. Just hang on for me.”

He didn’t think the wolf could actually hear him, but talking to them made him feel better, like maybe he could convince them to stay for long enough for him to save them.

Castiel stroked the wolf’s ears, mixing the last of the lumps out of the now green paste with his right hand while he petted the wolf with his left, empty words spilling out of his lips the entire time. He just needed time, he could do this, he could heal the wolf.

He poured the green paste into the wound, pressing his hand over it as he took a deep breath. He would prefer to heal all of the wolf’s wounds, but he needed to save him first and he wouldn’t be able to beat the binding for long enough to heal the rest of them.

One last deep breath and then he began to chant, the same two lines over and over while he pressed harshly down on the wound, his face screwed up in concentration as he pushed past the binding for just a tiny spark of magic, just a tiny bit to ignite the potion and allow it to heal. Just a tiny spark for the wolf’s entire life.

A scream ripping it’s way past his tightly clenched jaw as the binding fought back, his entire body a mess of burning and freezing, pins and needles in every square inch of his body while a million sharp teeth devoured every part of his body.

Still he didn’t give up. He thought of the life the wolf had in store for him, the days the wolf deserved to live, he thought of the wolf’s eyes, he thought of the trust in them and he pressed further, looking for one lifesaving spark. His eyes started glowing blue, the pain increasing, but he had what he needed. The potion was in force and he could pull back, breathing heavily as the fatigue hit him.

He didn’t pass out, though it was a close thing, and he pretty much sobbed in relief when he opened his eyes and saw the smooth, undisturbed skin on the wolf’s stomach. His chest ached, his magic in even worse shape than normal, but the wolf was going to be okay, and that was all that mattered.

The wolf would get the rest of his life.

Castiel didn’t fail him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!!!  
> Kudos and comments mean the world to me, and definitely encourage writing!!  
> Have an awesome week!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't panic I'm here! I was going to post this chapter... this morning, I thought about it yesterday... Earlier.   
> But. I didn't.  
> This week has been... yeah... I'm wiped, I did edit this but I doubt I found everything so if you spot any mistakes please tell me so I can fix them, I hope you've all had a better week than I have... Sorry this Author note is all over the place...  
> I hope you enjoy!!!

Castiel wasn’t sure if he fell asleep, or if his brain just zoned out, but the next thing he knew twenty minute had passed and he was already feeling much better. He still ached, every muscle in his body staging a mutiny after what he put them through, but the wolf was still there, warm in front of the fire, it’s breaths even, so Castiel couldn’t find it within himself to care.

The wolf would need some rest, but then Castiel could release it into the wild, maybe ask Charlie to come over and use her familiar link to animals to introduce the wolf to the wolf pack in the forest. That would be nice, they wouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

Castiel would be happier knowing the wolf had a pack to look after them, especially after whatever they went through.

With a tired sigh, Castiel forced himself to his feet. Every movement hurt, but he needed to drink and eat something after using his magic, and he knew he should probably put something out for the wolf as well, just in case they woke up while Cas wasn’t around. He was definitely planning to get some food, and then collapse into his bed and not move for at least a week.

Well, he’d have to move before then, he did have a wild animal in his house after all, but he definitely wouldn’t wake up within the next twenty-four hours. Magic used to come so easily to him, but with it locked away, and after not doing anything for years, a spell like the one he just did was more than enough to drain ninety percent of his energy.

His eyes were drooping as he heated some leftover lasagne in the oven, drinking three glasses of water for himself and pouring some water in a bowl for the wolf while he waited for it to heat through. He grabbed another two bowls, one for his lasagne, and one for some raw mince for the wolf. He’d been planning to use it to make burgers tomorrow, but he could make burgers whenever and the wolf needed food now.

He ate his lasagne quickly, not even noticing as it burned his tongue, his mind set on finishing the food and getting to bed. He left the dish on the side for him to wash when he was feeling better, and left the wolf’s bowls near enough that they could reach them, but wouldn’t knock them over, and then finally, Castiel could go to bed.

The short walk to his room felt like miles when walked in such a tired state, his leg muscles threatening to give in every step he made, and he didn’t even bother getting undressed, just collapsed onto his bed - on top of the covers - and instantly fell asleep right where he had fallen.

  
  


* * *

By the time Castiel woke back up, he felt like he’d been born anew. His muscles didn’t ache anymore, just the odd twinge here and there, and for a moment he couldn’t even remember why he had felt so bad before he’d gone to sleep, he was just aware he felt fine now and he was hungry.

He was weighing the pros and cons of waffles Vs pancakes when his brain suddenly realised what he’d forgotten. He felt like a bit of an idiot, forgetting about the huge, carnivorous, beast in his house, but sue him, that spell really took everything out of him.

Leaping to his feet, Castiel quickly walked back down the corridor to the living room, thankful that he’d been too tired to get undressed as it meant he didn’t have to get dressed now. His head spun slightly and coloured confetti filled his vision from standing up too quickly, but he kept moving. He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep for, it could have been a few hours, it could have been a few days, so he wasn’t sure the wolf would even still be there, but on the off chance they were, Castiel had to check on them.

It clearly hadn’t actually been that long, because the wolf was still lying in front of the now dead fire. They didn’t seem to have moved, the two bowls still untouched and Castiel assumed he had only slept around twenty four hours like he had expected, maybe a bit more depending on what time it had been when he found the wolf and what time he went to sleep. He was pleased to see that they seemed to have healed nicely, a little rest definitely went a long way.

Except… Castiel froze, his eyes locked onto the wolf.

He had given them enough magic to start the potion, and there had only been enough potion for the one wound. Their bad one should be completely healed right now, as it was, but the scratches? Their ripped up paws? The small cuts on their muzzle? All of the smaller wounds which Castiel had left because they weren’t life threatening and would heal on their own in a couple of weeks? They shouldn’t have healed. They should have all still been there, probably starting to scab, but not completely healed. Rest went a long way, but not this far.

And yet they were.

Castiel was staring at smooth, unbroken paws. The fur was too thick to see through, but there was no new blood on it since Castiel last washed them, and all the cuts on their muzzle were gone.

There was no way that a normal wolf could have healed this much overnight, unless Castiel was wrong and it had actually been much longer, but this level of healing would have taken weeks and the wolf would be dead by now if they hadn’t drank for that long.

So they couldn’t be a normal wolf.

Castiel’s breathing started speeding up, his thoughts racing as he thought over all the implications, trying to find something - anything - to explain how this could have happened without his worst nightmares coming true.

Could it have been a visit from another witch who healed the wolf while they were there? No. Castiel’s magic would have woken him up by aching if someone magical had walked onto his property, especially if they had cast magic while there.

Ached… just like it had just before Castiel found the wolf. Just like it was now, and had been since before he cast the spell.

Well what if it was- Castiel stopped his thoughts. There was no point trying to find any stupid loopholes. He knew what was going on, he knew what the wolf was, even if he hated even thinking about it.

It was obvious now he thought about it. The intelligence in the wolf’s eyes, the trust, the need to save them that Castiel had felt. Even without accepting it, Castiel had known that the wolf wasn’t just a wolf. And no matter what he did, even with his magic bound, he was still a witch, and his witch side would never let him leave a familiar to die.

Not that he would ever want to. But at least it explained why even when he thought they were just a regular old wolf, something had forced him to keep trying, even going as far to wriggle past his binding to get some magic to save them.

Familiars magnified magic. That’s why they were now all healed. Even unconscious, the wolf must have taken the tiny spark of magic he supplied, and the magic the potion created, and multiplied it, turning the small spell enough to heal all of his injuries.

The wolf was a familiar.

Walking slowly, as though the wolf wasn’t just a familiar and could suddenly snap to consciousness and bite him, Castiel wanders over to stand next to the wolf. Reaching out a hand to lay it on their back. The only positive of this entire situation was that now Castiel knew they had a human level of reasoning, he could worry less about being attacked by a wild animal. Either way, he was still cautious when he gently felt the wolf’s magic, thankful that he was a witch and could do this magic or no magic, and tried to find out if they were a bonded familiar.

If they were then there was sure to be a witch following after them, trying to find their familiar and bring them back. Normally Castiel would be glad about that, getting the unknown familiar out of his house as soon as possible would be a priority, but the poor wolf was hurt and no responsable witch would let their familiar get hurt like that. Which would leave either abuse or an incompitent witch who neglected their familiar, which wouldn’t be that much better. Castiel definitely didn’t want an abusive witch on his property, and not one part of his being would let him return a familiar to an abusive situation of any kind.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he figured out they were unbonded. No witch would be following after them, no witch was this bad at looking after their familiar either. But then he remembered that that meant he had an unbonded familiar in his house, and he couldn’t exactly throw them out while they were unconscious either. Which would mean they had to stay for at least until they woke up and were alert.

And there was still the fact that this familiar was alone, highly injured and nearly died. Castiel didn’t know where they came from, but if there was any chance of them ending up in that situation again then he would have to stop them.

Which brought him full circle back to the fact there was an unbonded familiar unconscious in his house.

With a sigh that was equal parts frustration and panic, Castiel spun on his heel and started walking out the door. He could go on a walk, get some fresh air, figure out what to do, and probably also do all that he could to forget the fact he had accidentally brought a familiar into his house and then maybe he’d actually be able to get his mind around the fact the last two days had happened.

He only managed to get three steps before he froze, spinning back around. The fire was dying, the wolf might get cold, and even if he didn’t, the floor probably wasn’t comfortable and even if a wolf wouldn’t care, a human would, and it really wasn’t a sign of good hospitality if the wolf woke up on the floor, and even if Castiel didn’t care about impressing them, there was no reason to be rude.

He carefully scooped the wolf into his arms, doing his best to ignore how soft their fur was now it was no longer matted with blood. The wolf didn’t wake up, so clearly they were still sleeping off the spells effects. The guest bedroom in Castiel’s cabin didn’t get used very often, or actually at all really. Charlie had stayed in there twice in the years Castiel had lived there, and he didn’t have any more guests.

Even with the large amount of disuse, the room was clean and the bed was neatly made. Castiel didn’t have a lot of stuff to do with his day, so full house cleaning happened about once a month at least.

He tucked the wolf in under the covers, lying them down the same way they had been asleep on the floor and pulling the duvet over their back up to their neck, making sure to close the curtains so the light wouldn’t disturb them too much and trying to do what he could to make the room look as unthreatening as he could.

The familiar was going to wake up in an unknown room, in an unknown cabin. It would be best to make them feel at ease, and not make them flip and try to kill Castiel as they tried to find out where they were.

Finally certain that he had made the wolf as comfortable as he could make them, Castiel turned back around and finally set out into the woods. He planned to check his traps to see if there was any fresh meat in them which he could take back to the cabin - the stuff Charlie brought only went so far, and Castiel was happy hunting and growing what he could, and only turning to Charlie when he had to.

His thoughts were flying around, the calm of the forest only doing so much. In the past day he had used his magic to save a wolf, who then turned out to be an unbonded familiar, who was now asleep in his guest room.

This was the strangest day he’d had in his entire life, and he was pretty terrified to see where this would go next. He had moved to the woods to avoid things like this, but apparently even in the middle of the forest, he couldn’t escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!!  
> Comments and Kudos give me more serotonin than chocolate!!  
> Have an awesome week!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you guys will like this chapter... 😄😄

Castiel walked slowly, the smell and feel of the forest soothing him and almost allowing him to forget where he was walking to. He had checked all the traps, and although most of them had been empty - he'd last checked them a couple of days ago so he hadn't expected many of them to have been set off already - a few of them had needed emptying and resetting, so now he had three rabbits for him to prepare and preserve for later.

Normally three rabbits would be plenty, and he would use one for cooking now, and preserve the other two for when it started getting colder and lots of the animals started hibernating, making his traps a lot less useful and causing him to have to rely on his stores and whatever Charlie brought him, but now with a… with a wolf staying in his home for at least a day more, maybe longer depending on whether they had anywhere to go, and Castiel would definitely have to feed them. And if there was one thing Castiel knew about wolves, it was that they had a huge appetite. Add on the fact that the wolf at his house looked malnourished, they would definitely eat a lot.

The three rabbits would be enough, but he doubted he would have any leftovers to store for as long as they stayed with him.

No.

Castiel shook his head, annoyed at himself and his witch nature. He wasn’t letting the wolf - the familiar - stay. They could stay a few days, that was it. Any longer and - Castiel wasn’t even going to think of what could happen. It wasn’t going to happen because they weren’t going to stay. One less rabbit for the store this one time wouldn’t change anything, and in the future the wolf would be gone and everything would be back to normal.

Simple.

Castiel sighed as he arrived on the outskirts of his property, his magic already sensing the familiar within and starting to ache. He knew it probably felt worse than before because he now knew there was a familiar there, but that didn't change anything. His chest was still aching, reminding him of something he really didn't want to remember.

He didn't want a familiar in his cabin and witch's compulsion to protect familiars aside, they would not be staying longer than they absolutely had to.

Castiel just wanted things to go back to normal.

He was just approaching the door to his cabin when he noticed the nice smell filling the air. It smelled like food and Castiel’s stomach had already started to rumble, he couldn’t remember when he last ate, but it was long enough ago for him to be hungry again. For a moment he let himself get lost in the smell, wondering what was being cooked, before his mind reminded him that there was no reason for food to be being cooked from his cabin, and someone was in there, cooking food for some reason, but that aside, someone had walked into his home while he was out.

He took a deep breath while he hung the rabbits up outside his porch. First job, figure out why there was someone in his cabin. Second job, sort out those rabbits. He waited a few more seconds, readying himself to confront whoever was in there, before walking in. However wherever he planned to do with the intruder went out the window, as the second he walked into his kitchen he froze.

There was a man standing by his stove, wearing a slightly muddy black, short sleeved, t-shirt and some dusty ripped jeans, with no shoes on his feet. He was flipping some burgers and humming happily under his breath like he hadn’t just broken into someone else's house and was now cooking in their kitchen. He just seemed so normal, but more than that, he was beautiful. Castiel couldn’t see his face from where he was standing, but the guy had strong muscles in his arms which were rippling as he moved, short, sandy blond hair, and freckles covering all of this sun kissed skin Castiel could see. But more than that, he had a way of carrying himself which spoke of both strength, and kindness. Like he could break someone, but had been broken too many times, who knew how it felt like too much, to ever even think of hurting someone else. His very being spoke of someone who was broken, but still going, and was only kinder because of it. The kind of person who lived by ‘I went through it, so I should help them not’ rather than ‘I went through it so they should too’. He looked around the same age as Castiel, but clearly had been through more than those years would suggest.

His very being was beautiful, but he was still in Castiel’s cabin uninvited.

Castiel opened his mouth, about to say something to the guy, hopefully asking him to leave or why he was there, rather than ask them out like he was worried he was going to, but before any words could escape the man turned around. For a moment Castiel was frozen, the man’s gorgeous face and sparkling green eyes locking up all his muscles, before his brain suddenly realised where he’d seen those eyes before.

The wolf. The familiar.

This was them. This beautiful human was the wolf’s other form, his human form.

"Oh, hello!" The familiar greeted with a smile. He didn't seem at all concerned about Castiel, but that was probably because he knew Castiel was the owner of the cabin, and he'd already saved the familiar once, it would be stupid to think that Castiel would attack him now.

"What are you doing?" Castiel asked, his voice as steady as he could make it, which to be honest probably wasn't very.

"You left me some raw mince," the familiar said with a slight shrug, "I was back in my human form when I woke up, so I decided to make some burgers."

“You woke up in an unfamiliar place, and your first thought was to make burgers?”

“Not at all,” the familiar replies with a quiet chuckle, “but after I figured out I was safe here, and you meant no harm, then my first thought was to make burgers.”

Castiel gaped openly for a minute, he had no idea how he had ended up in this situation, talking with a familiar who wasn’t Charlie while they cooked burgers for what probably counted as breakfast, but here he was.

It took him another minute before he could get his thoughts under control, during which the familiar turned back to finish cooling the burgers, apparently not worried about what Castiel was doing. Then again, those burgers did smell delicious, better than any burgers Cas had ever cooked, so he could see why he wouldn’t want to stop paying attention to them.

Clearly the familiar wasn’t going to be leaving until the burgers were done and eaten, and ignoring the fact Castiel couldn’t help but feel happy about that, he couldn't call him ‘the familiar’ for much longer. He might as well find the name of the familiar he saved, and it would probably help in some way or another in the future as well, even if it was just to help him get a new life far away from Castiel and his cabin.

“What’s your name?” he asked, walking past the familiar to grab cutlery to lay the table, as well as grabbing plates for the burgers. If they were going to have such tasty smelling burgers, Castiel might as well make a salad as well, he figured.

“My name is Dean,” the familiar - Dean - said quietly, grabbing some bread buns and putting them on the plates Castiel had provided before turning the heat under the burgers off. Castiel finished the salad quietly, waiting for Dean to continue, maybe give a surname, maybe explain where he had come from, but he said nothing else.

“Hello Dean,” Castiel eventually said, placing the salad on the table and sitting down at one of the places he had set earlier, “I’m Castiel, nice to meet you.”

“Hello Castiel,” Dean replied, wincing slightly when he said Castiel’s name. He would have been offended, but honestly he couldn’t blame him. Castiel was an odd name, and for someone who had never heard it before, it’s pronunciation could be tricky.

“I know,” Castiel said, a small grin appearing on his face, “I was named after an angel, I did get off better than some of my siblings though, one of my brothers was named Lucifer.”

Dean grinned and Castiel couldn’t help smiling back. He was just so beautiful, and Castiel could already feel the need to continue making Dean smile, possibly for the rest of his life.

No.

Castiel stayed away from familiars for a reason, he couldn’t just change that because of an injured wolf with a cute grin.

“I was named after my grandma,” Dean said, breaking Castiel out of his thoughts and thankfully not asking more about Castiel’s family. It had been stupid bringing them up, and Castiel honestly had no idea why he had. 

What was it about this familiar which was breaking down all his walls?

“How old are you Dean?” Cas asked, hoping to move the subject onto more comfortable topics. There was nothing bad about age, nothing that could be used to steer into deeper conversations. Nothing dangerous in the question.

“Twenty one,” Dean said, acting like it was nothing even while Castiel froze and his eyes widened. Dean was twenty one. He wasn’t a child, but he wasn’t that far into being an adult either, and the pain hiding behind his eyes was not that of a twenty year old. He had years hiding in his movements, years he had never actually lived.

“I’m twenty five,” Castiel offered without being asked, wanting to keep their easy exchange of information going.

Dean placed both of the plates on the table and dropped down into the chair across from Castiel, his shirt bouncing up a bit from the drop, revealing the burn on his hip. Castiel bit his lip to try and stop himself from commenting, his instinctual reaction to seeing the scar being to mention it, but even after spending this long in the middle of a forest, Castiel knew it was rude to bring something like that up. It was just… for a scar to be present on both of a familiar’s forms, it would have had to have been bad, bad enough for the familiar to have to split it between their two bodies to survive it.

Although a familiar was one person, they had two bodies which they could change between at will. But the two bodies were still separate. Scars didn’t transfer across, injuries didn’t transfer, if they were wearing clothes in their human form, those clothes would stay with their human form and return when the familiar changed back. However if an injury was particularly bad, the familiar could use it’s small amount of natural magic to split the injury so both forms had part of it.

The very thought that Dean had been in a situation like that, had Castiel filled with anger on the behalf of the man in front of him.

“Why are you here?” Castiel asked, and it was meant to be under his breath, Castiel thinking aloud, but Dean obviously heard him, because he answered.

“I got into a bear fight,” Dean said, his voice quiet and filled with a little something which told Castiel that there was more to the story than just that. That burn didn’t come from a bear fight. Dean didn’t end up in his garden, alone, because of just a bear fight. “I found myself wandering the woods, and when I saw your cabin, figured there would be a human who could help me, and ended up collapsing in your garden.”

Castiel frowned. There was definitely something else there. No one who isn’t hiding something ever started their story half way through it, nor did they ever tell a story that simply. If he was telling the full story he would - well, he would tell the full story.

“What else happened?” Castiel asked, unable to help himself. He just wanted to know what else had led this familiar to his garden.

“It doesn’t matter,” Dean snapped, his voice harsh as he was clearly not happy with where that line of questioning was going, “my past is mine, and you don’t need to know any more about it.” He breathed heavily for a moment, before taking a bite out of his burger, very clearly cutting the conversation off.

“Okay, I’m sorry, you’re right,” Castiel agreed in what he hoped was a soothing voice.

They ate the rest of their meal in silence, and once they were done they worked together to tidy up. It was only when the last plate was back in the cupboard that Castiel remembered that Dean needed to go, he wasn’t here to stay. He had just been resting here, and now it was time for him to go.

“Do you have somewhere to go next?” Castiel asked slowly, turning to look at Dean, paying attention to every shift of the familiar’s face. At first he looked scared, and then it shifted to resigned, then to what looked like sadness, then blankness, which somehow was so much worse than any of the other looks.

“It’s okay, I know when I’ve outstayed my welcome, I’ll go.”   
  
It’s exactly what Castiel wanted. He wanted Dean to leave, to go back to the forest and not disturb his life anymore than he already had.

It was just…

“That wasn’t what I said,” Castiel said, his voice filled with a power and sternness he hadn’t heard from himself for years, “I asked if you have somewhere to go next. Now, do you, or do you not?”

Dean stared down at the floor as he shifted from foot to foot, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck, “No I haven’t,” he admitted, his voice little more than a whisper.

“Where were you trying to get before you ended up here?”

“I- I wasn’t really going anywhere,” Dean whispered like it was some kind of dirty secret he didn’t want Castiel to hear, “I was just trying to get away, I didn’t really think of where to.”   
  
“Away from what?” Castiel asked, feeling a heavy feeling bubble up in his gut at the very thought that Dean had felt worried enough about being somewhere, that he had run with no thought for where he was going next.

“That doesn’t matter,” Dean said and there was something in his voice that told Castiel this wasn’t something he should push.

Castiel was quiet for a moment, looking at the brightness in Dean’s eyes, the bags under his eyes which one night of good sleep hadn’t been able to get rid of, the burn mark on his hip, covered by his shirt, but a permanent reminder that something horrible had happened to him. The resignation which seemed to have been in every cell of his body ever since Castiel had asked him about leaving, replacing the relaxation which had filled him before.

Castiel didn't know exactly what made him say it, but something made the decision for him. He couldn’t let Dean leave. Couldn’t let him back out into the dangers of life on his own, running from some unnamed horror which had led to him running like he had.

“You can stay here if you'd like.”

He didn’t even have time to regret his offer, the way Dean lit up after his words registered burning away any negative emotions he could feel. Sure, this could turn out to be an awful idea, but this moment alone would make it worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are love!! And at this point in the year (yes it's January, no that doesn't make me any less exhausted right now) reading your comments are bringing me some much needed joy and writing motivation!!
> 
> Have an awesome week!! And I'll see you next time!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started editing this chapter, but now I'm cold so I'm just going to post now, and if you spot any mistakes please tell me in the comments so I can fix them! <3

“Can I really stay?” Dean’s voice was shaky, like he really wanted to believe Cas would let him stay, but had been disappointed too many times in his life to believe he would be able. Castiel couldn’t help the feeling of protectiveness which filled him in the face of Dean’s uncertainty. He wanted to get rid of everyone who had ever hurt the poor familiar in front of him; who, although Castiel hadn’t known for very long, he could tell was deserving of so much more than he had been given in life.

He deserved safety.

He deserved to feel wanted.

He deserved to be loved.

He deserved so much more than Castiel would ever be able to give him, and Castiel was already unsure if that was a good idea. He should be avoiding familiars, he always avoided familiars - especially ones he didn’t know - and yet here he was, opening his home to this guy just because he deserved more and he filled Castiel with a feeling of protectiveness.

If he wanted to protect him, he should just let Dean go. Let him get far away to somewhere Castiel wouldn’t be able to hurt him.

And yet he just couldn’t.

The very thought of letting Dean leave, being unable to help if he got injured and not knowing if he was safe, if he had enough food, if he was even still alive, it made something deep inside of himself twist and rebel and refuse to let that happen. If Dean wanted to go, then Castiel wouldn’t really have a choice not to let him go, but he could already tell that even after such a short amount of time, Dean had already managed to change things.

Castiel couldn’t tell if that scared him or not, but one thing was sure, if this was how much everything had changed after a day, now that Dean was staying nothing would be the same again.

“Do you have any possessions?” Castiel asked. He guessed the answer would be no, the wolf hadn’t been holding a bag and Dean didn’t have anything else with him, so unless he had a bag which had been dropped nearby, he could only assume that Dean had left everything else wherever he had been before turning up in Castiel’s garden. He was already running a list through his mind, figuring out what he had spares that he could give to Dean, and what they would have to go into town to buy. He was surprised when he realised how far into the future he was planning. For once in his life he was expecting someone to stay, and even though he still wasn’t certain that was a good thing, it still made him smile.

“No I’m sorry, I only have what was in my pockets when I last shifted,” Dean said, gesturing to the pockets of his jeans. Castiel nodded, understanding that it would be just as he had expected, you couldn’t fit a toothbrush or a spare pair of clothes in jean pockets.

“Alright then, I’ll help you get settled into the guest room, and then I’ll see what I can find around the house for you.”

Dean blushed, his eyes darting to the ground as he quietly mumbled, “You don’t have to, I can deal without, I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

Castiel frowned, squinting at Dean. Why would giving him a toothbrush count as being inconvenienced? Why did Dean seem to think Castiel would let him stay in his home without providing the basics? It wasn’t like Castiel was short of money, nor did he have anything better to spend his money on. He stayed in his cabin, buying books and food and paying the bills. Beyond that, he really didn’t really spend his money, he thought he would be able to afford a toothbrush and some clothes.

“It wouldn’t be an inconvenience,” Castiel said slowly, “If you’re staying in my home, you won’t be ‘dealing’ without basic belongings. At the very least you need some more clothes and some personal hygiene supplies.”

Dean nodded, not looking up when he said, “If that’s what you want.” Castiel wasn’t sure he liked this version of Dean, and he wished the happy familiar who was cooking burgers would come back. He had the feeling this was because he had said Dean could stay, maybe he thought he had to earn his keep now that he was staying, or maybe he was even trying to be as unassuming as possible so that Castiel wouldn’t get annoyed at him and kick him out.

“Yes, that is what I want,” Castiel eventually said, “you know where the guest bedroom is - it’s the one you woke up in this morning - please go and make sure everything is as you like it, I’ll be through in a minute.” 

He waited until Dean had done as he asked and headed to what would now be his room, before he stood up and headed to his room, grabbing some of the clothes from the back of his closet which he didn’t normally wear. It was mainly flannels, a few plain t-shirts which didn’t fit Castiel but should fit Dean, and some old, worn, jeans which Castiel saved for garden work. There were a few which were definitely no good, but still a few other outfits which would probably just about fit Dean - though they may end up being a bit too small. He hadn’t been able to see Dean’s exact size, but from what he had seen the other man was a little taller than him, but Castiel was fairly sure he had broader shoulders, which would probably mean the clothes would be slightly too short, but baggy around the shoulders, but they would have to do.

Once he had gathered some clothes - though they would definitely have to get Dean some of his own soon enough, Castiel felt bad making Dean wear his old stuff - Castiel wandered to the airing cabinet to grab a few clean towels for Dean to use, before he headed to Dean’s new room. Dean was standing in his room just like Castiel had asked, and he seemed to have moved the bed next to the window. He blushed when he saw Cas looking at it, mumbling something about how he was sorry and that he would move it back.

“No, leave it. This is your room now, you can move stuff wherever you want,” Castiel assured him, placing the clothes and towels down on the bed, “I brought you some clean clothes and towels. If you want to get changed into some clean clothes, I can wash the ones you are wearing right now,” Castiel offered as he walked back out the room, “I’ll just go and see what hygiene products I have spare.”   
  
Dean didn’t say anything more so Castiel headed to the bathroom, making sure to close the door to Dean’s room behind him as he left, so that Dean would have privacy if he decided he did want to change.

In the bathroom Castiel looked through his cabinets, managing to find a packaged toothbrush and a packaged razor which he could give Dean, but from the looks of things Dean would have to just use the soap, shampoo, and conditioner that was already in the shower. Castiel doubted it would matter anyway, having a separate bottle of shampoo would just make no sense anyway.

Once again Castiel headed back to Dean’s room, knocking and waiting to be called in before he entered, placing the packages on the bed and telling Dean of the soap situation. He noticed Dean’s dirty clothes pile when he first walked in, but that didn’t mean he was ready to look up and see Dean in Castiel’s clothes.

“Is- is something wrong?” Dean asked, and it was only then that Castiel realised he was staring. It was just… Dean looked really good in his clothes. They didn’t fit amazingly, just like Castiel had expected, but what he hadn’t expected was how they actually would fit. Dean clearly wasn’t too uncomfortable, which was just as well because Castiel doubted they would get to town for another couple of days, but Castiel was seriously wondering if he should just drive to town now, because he wasn’t sure how long he could survive being in the presence of Dean, while he was looking like that.

Castiel had to stay away. He couldn’t let himself get attached. Dean was a familiar. It didn’t matter if most witch and familiar relationships were somewhere between lovers and really close friends, depending on the couple, Castiel couldn’t get close to a familiar. He couldn’t bond with one. He would just get Dean hurt if he continued like this.

Yet somehow, even with that echoing around his head, he couldn’t help but wonder if it would be worth it.

Of course it wouldn’t be worth it.

Just because Dean was- well, Dean, didn’t mean Castiel should forget everything he had learned throughout his life.

“No, everything is fine,” Castiel assured, realising he still hadn’t responded to Dean’s question. “I’ll go put a wash on, did you take everything out of your jean pockets?”

“Yes I did,” Dean said, his eyes darting to look at the bedside table which had a small pile of items on it, including what looked like a set of car keys and some other items Castiel couldn’t identify.

“Alright,” Castiel smiled, grabbing the clothes and leaving the room, “I’ll go do this, you can finish getting settled in. I have lots of books in the sitting room if you want to go and check them out.” He waited for Dean to nod his understanding before he spun on his heel, carrying the bundle to his washing machine and grabbing his own hamper to make sure the load was full. A small thrill went through him, seeing his clothes mixing with Dean’s in the washing machine, and he couldn’t help but feel like an idiot, getting this excited over something so simple.

So mundane.

So domestic.

Wow. How had they already slipped into domestic? Dean hadn’t even properly moved into his room yet, and Castiel was calling it domestic?

And yet when he left the laundry room and found Dean sprawled in an armchair, a book open in front of him, he couldn’t help the same thrill going through him. A small smile escaping him as he grabbed his own book and settled into the other armchair, a comfortable silence falling between them and the air in the room unable to be described as anything other than comfortable. Domestic.

* * *

Castiel wasn’t sure how long they were sitting there reading, but the comfortable silence between them was disturbed however long later by a loud grumble from Dean’s stomach. Castiel wasn’t surprised, Dean’s wolf metabolism mixed with however long he spent on the run, not eating properly, meant that of course he was hungry. Castiel himself was getting peckish, and he didn’t have two forms. Dean on the other hand just looked embarrassed, like he felt he shouldn't have been hungry.

A sudden thought hit Castiel, and although he hoped it wasn’t true, he had to ask.

“Dean, how long have you been hungry for?”

Dean stared down at the floor, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck again in a gesture Cas was starting to realise he did when he was nervous or embarrassed. “A while,” Dean admitted, his voice small, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”   
  
Castiel sighed, realising that he was going to have his work cut out if he wanted the Dean he had caught a glimpse of before back. “Dean, I’m never going to get mad at you for being hungry. If you are hungry, I want you to tell me.”

“But I- I eat so much. It’s not right. I’ll just make things difficult for you.”

“Dean, you have two forms to feed, of course you eat more than someone who isn’t a familiar, that doesn’t mean that you are greedy or wrong.”

Dean blinked a couple of times, looking both shocked and also… pleased? Yes, he looked pleased. Like Castiel’s words had taken a weight he had been carrying for years off his shoulders.

“Where have you been my whole life?” Dean whispered under his breath, clearly not meaning for Castiel to overhear.

Castiel snorted silently,  _ ‘Right here,’ _ he thought ‘ _ waiting for you.’  _ He wished it wasn’t true, but even if he was never going to do anything about it ever, it was true.

He’d been here waiting for something to change.

Waiting for Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!!!  
> Comments and kudos are hugs for the Cas and Dean (and me :D)  
> Have an awesome week!! <3


	7. Chapter 7

Castiel headed to the kitchen, looking through the cupboards for something easy but filling for him to cook. He had the ingredients for lasagne with the rabbits he caught in his traps, and some ingredients Charlie brought, and after another few minutes of thinking he decided to make some cheesy garlic bread to go with it. Normally he only made small quantities, but with Dean’s extra metabolism Castiel could tell that anything he cooked wouldn’t stay for very long. He didn’t mind, but he had a feeling he would have to rely on the shops a bit more than he normally did.

Dean tried to help at first, following Castiel into the kitchen and starting to prepare the rabbits, his wolf side apparently making him very good at separating the good meat and bad meat, but Castiel couldn’t help but notice how Dean didn’t have any idea where anything went and still seemed to be slightly tired, even after the magic healing of his wounds, so he decided it would probably be better if he encouraged Dean to go and rest while he finished the rest of the cooking.

Of course, the fact that the familiar seemed to think he had to make himself useful had definitely not helped Dean’s case that he should help Castiel with the cooking.

“Dean, go and rest. I’ll call you back when it’s done, but until then you will be more helpful if you take the time to get better,” Castiel sighed for what felt like the millionth time. Dean was stubborn and apparently his belief he had to help with everything ran deep. Castiel would have probably encouraged it if he thought it was a familiar thing, or even just a Dean thing, but this didn’t feel like that. Something about the desperation Dean faced each task with, told him that this was more of a forced habit than a happy little personality trait.

“But I’m fine,” Dean argued, “you saved my life, the least I can do is help you make some food.” Castiel noticed that he was swaying on his feet slightly and once again Castiel couldn’t help but wonder what he was running from. Obviously they had hurt him, and Castiel wished he had realised this whole thing earlier. Maybe if he had known that Dean was a familiar before he used the potion he could have healed Dean completely.

But then again, how could he have known?

All he knew was an injured wolf covered in injuries. He couldn’t have known they were a familiar. He couldn’t have known that they were running from something.

“Dean, you’re a guest, and you’re exhausted. Rest, I can do this by myself,” Castiel said, wishing that he could just click his fingers and magic Dean into his room. Castiel didn’t normally miss his magic, he knew why it was bound and why would he miss something like that anyway? And yet ever since Dean had appeared in his life, all one day worth of it, he had wanted to use his magic more times than he had in years.

It wasn’t even because he was a familiar. It was just because he was fucking fustrating.

Dean opened his mouth again, his green eyes still blazing with defiance, but a stern look from Castiel had his mouth snapping shoot. “Dean, I’m the host. Go rest.” Dean nodded in response, the fight draining from his eyes while he muttered something about how Castiel was a witch - was it supposed to be an insult? Or just a fact? - before finally walking out the room. Somehow that hurt even more than Dean refusing to not help. Probably because it was clear that Dean still thought he should be helping, he was gone because he thought he couldn’t argue with Castiel, not because he agreed.

One day Castiel was going to find out where Dean had come from, and then he was going to curse whoever did this to Dean.

He swore quietly under his breath, but stayed in the kitchen, not going after Dean like he wanted to. Dean probably needed space, and Castiel was cooking anyway. There was no point burning it when he would probably just make everything worse.

The lasagne was ready about half an hour later and after trying to call Dean and getting no response, Castiel started walking through his cabin looking for the familiar.

He eventually found him in the laundry room. It looked like he had hung out all the washing Castiel had put on that morning, and then after that job had been done had started looking for more jobs to do. That was why Castiel found him sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded with piles of washing, the iron was out and clearly had been used to iron their clothes - which didn’t need ironing - and his washing machine looked cleaner than he had ever seen it.

“Dean? What are you doing?” Castiel asked in concern as he walked up to the familiar who hadn’t even looked up yet.

“Laundry,” Dean grunted, clearly not seeing any problems with what he was doing.

“Didn’t I tell you to rest?” Cas asked, waiting until Dean nodded before he continued, “so why are you doing laundry?”

Dean started picking at his fingers, his shoulders hunching up around his shoulders, “I thought you would rather that I make myself useful.”

Castiel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Dean, you aren’t a slave. You don’t need to do all this. You are still hurt, you need to rest.”

“But you’re a witch,” Dean snorted, like his point was obvious. He didn’t continue for a moment, so Castiel waved for him to continue. “Witches are above such things like laundry,” Dean said, his tone making it clear that he was quoting someone, “that’s the job of the familiar. To make their life easier, in all ways.”

“Well I have no idea which witches said that to you,” Castiel said with a frown, “but I can promise you that I have never even met a witch who thinks like that. Witches and familiars are equals, we work in different ways, but we are equals in all aspects in life.”

Dean frowned at that, but didn’t argue about the fact they were equals, instead he decided to argue about the other part. “Well if we are equals then I should be helping,” he pointed out.

Castiel was unable to help the chuckle which bubbled out of his throat. He hoped he would see more of this Dean than the other version of him. “Sure,” he agreed, “let’s go and eat, and once we are done we can decide on some jobs for you to do, but only if you want to, and there will be none of this making yourself useful stuff. If you need to rest, you will rest, I’ve spent all these years doing all jobs on my own, nothing will collapse if you need time to recover.”

Dean’s smile was dazzling as Castiel’s words registered in his head; clearly he liked the idea. “Sounds good,” he said, standing up and following Castiel back to the kitchen, “I’m glad it was your cabbage patch I ended up in.”

“I’m glad it was mine as well,” Castiel grinned. He sat down at the table, happily tucking into his food, his smile only growing at the happy sounds Dean made as he ate. He still seemed a bit shocked that Castiel didn’t think he was greedy when he offerened seconds, but he didn’t argue this time, just happily took the offered food and enjoyed it.

“Dean, you don’t have to answer,” Castiel started hesitantly, “but how come you know so little about being a familiar? I’m not even talking about the service thing - even though I don’t even understand how a witch could do that - I just mean, you didn’t realise about the extra food due to the extra form thing.”

Dean ducked his head down, staring at the table, and Castiel worried that he had gone too far. Dean stayed silent while Castiel quietly finished eating, not doing anything to lessen Castiel's worry, leaving him sitting there seriously concerned he had overstepped.

“What do you mean you can’t understand how a witch could do that to a familiar?”

Castiel startled slightly, he hadn’t expected Dean to talk. It wasn’t answering his question, but although Castiel was worried, his question didn’t really matter. He could teach Dean all that stuff now, it didn’t matter why Dean didn’t know it.

“Witches have this… this compulsion I guess, to protect familiars,” Castiel tried to explain, “for example, even when I didn’t know what you were, I knew I couldn’t let you die without trying to help you, because my magic refused to let me.”

“Because familiars are useful to you guys?” Dean snapped angrily.

Castiel quickly shook his head, “No, not at all. It’s more like witches and familiars are born to work together. You help us with our magic, so we help you with whatever you need in return. I don’t expect anything in return, just saying that before you assume anything, it’s just a kind of natural partnership our magics have.”

Dean seemed to partially understand, even if Castiel was sure his explanation was pretty awful.

“I think I understand. I’m fairly sure if you were hurt, my familiar side wouldn’t let me just leave you. Then again, by now, I don’t think I would leave you even if I could.” Castel’s breath caught in his throat. “You’re a good man Castiel,” Dean smiled, “I don’t know why, but I know I can trust you to tell me the truth.”

Dean stood up, picking up both plates to rinse them off, and Castiel was reminded of Dean’s sheer height. Throughout their last conversation Dean’s vulnerability had made him seem smaller, and it was only now that he stood that Castiel remembered he wasn’t any kind of damsel in distress. He could look after himself. But Castiel would never say no to giving him a helping hand from time to time.

“Alright then,” Dean said, clearing his throat and muttering something about chick-fliks under his breath, “What jobs do you want me to do around the house.”

They talked for a while, discussing Dean’s skills. At first Dean just said Castiel should just give him all the jobs he hated, but Castiel refused. They were equals, so they would split the worst jobs evenly.

In the end it was decided that Dean could use his wolf form to go hunting whenever they ran out of meat, and would also water the garden and do any random repairs the cabin needed. They would cook together, and other than that Castiel would continue on with the jobs he always did. Castiel reminded Dean once again that if he needed to rest, then he should, all his jobs would be able to wait until a later date, and he waited until Dean nodded in agreement before he moved on.

Castiel thought for a moment, wondering whether offering this would make things better or worse, before deciding that no harm would come from offering it, and Dean could always say no.

“Dean, do you want to find out more about being a familiar?” Castiel asked carefully, watching as confusion spread across Dean’s face.

“How?” he asked, his tone filled with suspicion, like he expected this to be some kind of trap.

“My friend Charlie,” Castiel explained, “she’s a familiar and created this kind of familiar chat space. We can make you an account and you can anonymously talk to other familiars about their experiences, or even your experiences if you want to. There are no witches, a spell woven into the very coding of the website which stops them from being able to use it.”

Dean blinked a couple of times, looking extremely surprised. “You’d be okay with that?”

“With what?”

“Me talking to other familiars without you knowing what I’m saying.”

Castiel sighed. Again. And wished he could curse whoever Dean was with before he ended up here. Again.

“I would never try to control your actions,” Castiel said, his voice surprisingly level when compared to the turbulent emotions in his head. “I may have never been on this website, but I know Charlie, and I know she would only make a safe space, and I know that you deserve the chance to get a first hand view of being a familiar.”

Dean smiled then, like he had only just realised that Castiel was being serious, that he really could go on the website and talk to other people and do whatever he wanted to.

“I don’t have a phone,” he said suddenly, “you live in a cabin in the middle of some woods. How am I going to get to this website exactly?”

Castiel grinned, he’d been wondering if Dean would point that out. “I have a computer, I just prefer reading, and Charlie - the friend who made the website - also installed some magic boosted internet for me. I’m in the middle of the woods, but my computer should work just fine.”

“Awesome,” Dean laughed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for Castiel to go and get the computer.

“Alright, do you want any help signing up? Or will you be fine?”

“I think I’ll be fine,” Dean said, rubbing at the back of his neck, “I’m pretty good with technology.”   
  
“Alright, well I’ll be in my garden if you need me. Enjoy.” Castiel said as he walked out the door, a happy smile on his face. This would be good for Dean, he could already feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!  
> I hope you have an awesome week!! And I'll see you next time!!  
> <3 <3 <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! Hello!! So... I forgot what day it was... and it's late... so I have edited it, but please point it out if I've missed anything so I can fix it. ❤❤❤  
> In other news! I actually really like this chapter, and hopefully you guys will like it too!!!

Castiel spent a few hours tending to his garden, deadheading the flowers, turning the soil, and planting a few of the seeds which were okay being planted so late in the year. He even found the gun he’d dropped when he found Dean, and quickly nipped inside to put it back in its draw. Dean was enthralled with whatever he was reading on the screen, and didn’t even notice Cas walk past. 

On his way back outside, Castiel checked the clock, and decided to water the plants which needed it. It was supposed to be Dean’s job to do the watering, but Castiel needed some time to think, and he figured that Dean could start with his jobs tomorrow, hopefully after the other familiars on the site had helped him settle into his own being slightly more.

The plants surrounding him, the calming smell of  petrichor which was released when he watered, the sound of typing he could just hear through the open door, it all started to settle him, making him feel happier than he had in years.

He had never thought he would want to share his space with anyone else. Being alone was lonely, but it was safe. For him, and everyone else. He had a routine, and sure, he wasn’t happy, but he never expected to be happy, nor did he deserve to be happy.

But then Dean waltzed - well, limped - into his life and now, even after only a day, Cas can’t imagine being alone again. He never expected that he would get used to Dean’s presence this quickly, but the familiar just bought a kind of warmth with him. If Castiel’s magic wasn’t bound he would assume it was just the link between their magics, but Castiel’s magic  **was** bound, and the warmth wasn’t anything magical.

It was just Dean.

It was Dean’s smile, his rare laughs, the brightness of his eyes even when they looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. It was the way Dean was never silent, even when he was being quiet, there was still more noise filling Castiel’s cabin than there had been in years - excluding Charlie of course, the fox always filled Castiel’s cabin with noise and activity, but she never stayed long. Dean had already been there for longer than Charlie ever stayed for. It wasn’t Charlie's fault, Castiel always chased her away.

He thought that was what he wanted.

Dean was starting to make him think he had been wrong.

“Castiel?” Dean asked, his face appearing at the door. Castiel waved from his place in the flower beds, his grin growing when Dean left the house, walking over to stand next to Castiel.

“Hello Dean,” Castiel greeted the familiar, “are you done on the laptop?”

“Yes thank you,” his eyes sparkling with a mixture of joy and hope that Castiel knew wasn’t there before. He was glad to see that it really had helped, hopefully now Dean would understand his place a bit better and would be able to settle in a bit more comfortably.

“Did they manage to answer all your questions?”

“Almost all of them,” Dean said, “but the others were because I didn’t ask. I still don’t know what is normal and what isn’t, and I think I need to get used to what I already know before I try to look into that.”

Castiel nodded, glad to hear that Dean knew his own limits. This was already a lot to take in, and it wouldn’t be good if Dean accidentally overwhelmed himself. “Okay, well if you have any questions for me, either now or after you are used to what you already know, feel free to ask. Until then, is there a reason you came to find me?”

“Oh yeah,” Dean laughed quietly, like he’d forgotten that he was supposed to be asking something, “Umm, it’s just-” he started, and Castiel squinted, unsure what Dean could be about to say that could be this difficult.

“Yes?” Castiel asked when it was clear Dean wasn’t going to continue, “it’s just?”

Dean sighed heavily, and Castiel couldn’t help but notice how adorable it was. He could hear Dean’s wolf voice just under his human one, the chuffing noise mixing into the sigh in such a way that you wouldn’t be able to hear it unless you knew it was there. That gave Castiel a bit of a clue over what this could be about, but Dean needed to say it out loud. Communication was important and if he had to act clueless to make it happen, then so be it.

“I don’t know what your rules on shifting on the property are,” Dean said, the words coming faster and faster as though now that he had started he couldn’t stop, “but I’m healthier than I’ve been for years and I’m feeling an itch to shift.”

“Okay,” Castiel answered with a small frown, “so why are you coming to me?”

“To- ask you if I can shift?” Dean asked hesitantly, the small frown on his face matching Castiel’s.

“Dean,” Castiel sighed. Clearly they weren’t as over this as he had expected. “I will never try to control your actions. You can shift as much as you like. You’re allowed wherever you want - as long as it doesn’t endanger yourself or anyone else - regardless of form.”

“Oh,” Dean breathed, his face lightening and a wide smile spreading across his face. “Thanks Cas!” There was something in his grin, something that made Castiel suspicious.

“Were you testing me?” he asked slowly, “was that what that was?”

Dean’s grin only grew, the corner of his eyes crinkling with joy. “Yep,” he said, popping his p. “Well, I actually do want to shift, but I was saying to one of the other familiars on the site about how I wanted to trust you, but couldn’t be certain you were telling the truth, and they told me to ask if I could shift. They said that a good witch will never try to control what form you are in and where, even just something as simple as ‘don’t be in your animal form in the house’ is a red flag.”

Castiel nodded. “That familiar is very smart. Which form you are in is - and always should be - up to you.” He was glad to hear that he had passed the test. It wasn’t like he would ever have a different answer to anything to do with Dean and his two forms, but it was still a fear of his that he might fail a test and lose Dean. He- he liked the familiar. Just in a friend's way, but he would still miss him immensely if he decided he couldn’t trust Castiel and wanted to go.

Then again, the very fact he was testing Castiel was a good thing. It meant that he wanted to trust Castiel. He wasn’t just going to hand his trust over to Castiel just because he was a witch, or because he had saved him and given him a place to stay. He was giving Castiel a chance to earn the trust, and in Castiel’s opinion earned trust was so much better than forced trust, or blind trust.

“Are you planning to go for a run?” Castiel asked, slowly standing up and waving his hand in the general direction of the forest - seeing as the forest was surrounding them from all sides, it was a pretty accurate general hand wave.

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” Dean grinned, “I don’t know how long I’ll be, so don’t wait up.” As soon as he had finished speaking, Dean shifted to his other form, his glossy coat looking miles better than it had last time Castiel had seen it and his eyes bright. Dean shook his coat out, sending Castiel as close to a smile as his snout would let him, then sprinted off into the woods.

Castiel watched him until he was out of sight, then he watched the space he had disappeared into for a bit longer, before sighing to himself and walking back into his cabin. It was alarmingly quiet. Castiel never noticed how oppressive the emptiness of his cabin was.

It didn’t matter. Dean would be back from his run soon.

While he waited Castiel decided to do some tidying, making sure that everything was in it’s exact place and catching up on any of the cleaning he hadn’t been able to do due to Dean’s sudden appearance. He put the washing Dean had folded into his room, and then put Dean’s washing outside his door. He’d rather put it inside the room, the floor was clean, but the washing was certainly cleaner, however he knew Dean would appreciate having some space which was his and his alone, and what was the point of telling Dean the room was all his if Castiel was going to be constantly invading it without permission.

Once he had done all the cleaning, he sat down in his armchair to do some reading. He had to turn the light on to see the words, the sun long gone from the sky, and he found himself wondering where Dean was. Dean hadn’t said he would be back before dark, and to a wolf the blackness of night wouldn’t be little more than a slight inconvenience, if that, actually with the amount of nocturnal animals Dean was probably having the time of his life.

That didn’t stop Castiel from worrying.

* * *

It had just passed one in the morning and Castiel’s eyes were aching from looking at the small text of his book, when the door swung open to reveal Dean. He was still in his wolf form, but he was panting happily as he trotted into the room. He froze for a second when he made eye contact with Castiel, clearly not expecting him to be awake, but after a suspicious glance and a disapproving huff he walked over to Castiel.

He very clearly said hello with his eyes, but didn’t shift back to his human form so they could talk. Castiel didn’t take it personally, it was quite late - actually early, but who was counting - and Castiel had been serious when he said that Dean could be whichever form he wanted, whenever he wanted.

“Do you need help with doors?” Castiel asked gently, running his fingers through the fur on Dean’s head. For a moment Dean froze and he worried he had overstepped, but Dean quickly melted into the touch, his happy rumble making Castiel smile.

Dean very clearly nodded his head, the eye contact he kept with Castiel for the entire time making his message clear. He needed Castiel to open the doors. He didn’t want to shift back yet.

Castiel stood up, regrettably having to take his hands off Dean’s soft fur. “Alright, come on then,” he whispered, opening the door to Dean’s room and then after checking with Dean first, closing it behind him. Dean wasn’t making any noise, his footsteps too quiet for that, yet the silence of the cabin no longer felt oppressive. It was warm now that Dean was back.

He smiled the entire way back to his own room.

* * *

Castiel shot upright, fighting off the last tendrils of sleep as he did so. He gasped for breath, his lungs didn’t want to cooperate but he needed the air, he needed to breathe; a few tears escaped his weeping eyes and dripped down his face. He was shaking.

It had been awhile since he’d had a nightmare that bad. He had them multiple times a week, but normally he just woke up with a frown and a vague memory of an unpleasant dream.

Castiel wasn’t surprised this time was different.

He had a new person in his house - a familiar in his house. Of course his brain was trying to revolt. Castiel chuckled darkly. Of course he couldn’t even allow himself to be happy.

He closed his eyes for a moment, contemplating how likely it was he would be able to get some more sleep. Sometimes after the milder ones he would be able to get back to sleep and he wouldn’t be exhausted, however Castiel knew already this wouldn't be one of those times. He hoped, but the logical part of his brain already knew it wouldn't happen.

With a loud and dissatisfied sigh, Castiel dragged himself out of bed. He was still feeling shaken from his dream, and he could remember reading something about drinking hot chocolate helping with things like this. He had never tried it, but he was pretty desperate right now.

The kitchen light was on when Castiel walked in. For a moment Castiel wondered if he had forgotten to turn it off last night, but then he noticed the illuminated figure of Dean, hunched over the kitchen table with his own mug of something steaming in his hands, looking unhappy about being awake. He was back in his human form, but there was something in his eyes which made Castiel’s heart ache.

“Hello Dean,” Castiel murmured, grabbing a mug and drinking chocolate out the cupboard to make himself his own drink.

Dean didn’t reply with words, letting out something between a yip and a grumble, but Castiel managed to figure out the mood behind the noises. It was early, and Dean didn’t want to be awake.

“Nightmare?” Castiel continued, dropping down into the seat across from Dean and taking a sip from his still too hot drink.

Again Dean didn’t respond with anything more than noises, but this time his noise was clearly a ‘yes’, a small frown taking over his handsome face.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Dean clearly thought hard for a moment, taking a few sips from his drink before he eventually nodded, then shook his head, holding up three fingers. He would talk, he just wanted some time to finish his drink.

Castiel was okay with that. He wanted a bit of time to allow the hot chocolate to do its job before they talked about nightmares anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll see you all next week!!!!  
> Comments and kudos make my day!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back!! And I've gotta say... y'all are gonna enjoy this chapter...  
> Also... This is barely edited. I'm sorry, I'm tired, I had a quick read through and didn't see any mistakes, but I was skimming, so please point it out if I missed something so I can fix it.  
> Hope you enjoy!!

The three minutes passed quickly, despite the tense silence which hung between them. Castiel had expected it to feel like forever and a day, expected things to be difficult between them, but even with the tension, it was oddly comfortable as they both sat there, sipping steaming drinks, their feet occasionally brushing under the table and a few short bouts of eye contact.

“I had a nightmare about my past,” Dean said quietly. It came out of nowhere, a sudden break to the quiet, but Cas had been expecting it. He’d noticed when Dean had started shifting in place, when he had started rubbing at the back of his neck, when he had started taking deep, calming breaths. Castiel had seen it, and known that Dean was preparing himself to speak.

“The place you ran from?” Castiel asked, unsure whether all his problems from his past came from one place, or if Dean had more skeletons in the closet than Castiel had originally expected.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, a muscle in his jaw twitching from how tightly he was clenching his jaw, as though the very mention of that place was causing him physical pain, “that place.”

Castiel didn’t say anything more for a moment, allowing the silence of the night to wrap around them. He half expected Dean to start talking, break the silence, maybe offer up some more details, but Dean stayed silent, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched Castiel, his eyes echoing the look of someone used to spending most of their life in the quiet. Used to staying out of sight, out of mind, watching, learning, knowing.

They were the same in that way, both of them were used to living in the quiet, staying out of the way and using the dark, the silence, the anonymous life as a shield. But the difference was that Castiel’s silence was harmless, his quiet was his shield, protecting everyone else from the damage he knew his noise could bring.

Castiel squinted at his new friend, trying to solve the enigma which was Dean- oh. Castiel didn’t know Dean’s surname, actually now he thought about it, neither of them had given their surnames. They lived together now, worked together, sat together after both of them woke from nightmares, but they didn’t even know anything as simple as second names.

They were virtual strangers, yet Castiel felt he could trust Dean with more than he had ever trusted anyone with before.

“What-” Castiel started, only to actually think about what he was going to say and stopping, cutting himself off before the question could get any further than that. Dean had said his past was his own, and Castiel could respect that. If Dean ever wanted to tell him what happened, then he would. But he would do it in his own time. Castiel wasn’t ready to even start telling Dean what happened in his past, so it would be downright rude to expect any different from Dean.

“Do you have nightmares often?” Castiel asked instead, being careful to leave his body language open so Dean knew he didn’t have to answer, even if Castiel wanted him too.

A humourless laugh bubbled out of Dean’s throat, the empty sound causing a chill to prickle down Castiel's spine. He could instantly tell that Dean's answer was not going to be positive, and he hated it before it had even been verbalised. “Almost every night.” Dean’s voice was tired, as though even thinking about it was draining his energy away. He blinked a couple of times, as though he had suddenly realised something, before he quickly added, "it's not normally this bad. Normally I keep sleeping and just wake up the next morning with the memory that it happened."

“Is it always the same?” Castiel asked, figuring that it was an open enough question for it not to be seen as prying. He wanted to talk to Dean about this, he wanted to help, but he understood the need to keep the past hidden, to not share too many details. Dean was clearly lying about something, but Castiel figured that if Dean felt the need to lie about it, it would be best for him to not pry and ruin any trust between them.

“Pretty much. A few details change now and again,” Dean shrugged, a grimace appearing on his face, “ages, people involved, what they say, but the general gist of it is always accurate.”

Castiel nodded in understanding, wondering what question he should ask next when something in Dean’s choice of words made him freeze. He was probably reading too far into things, but there was something there, something which set of alarms in Castiel’s mind and made his thoughts spin.

“It’s a memory?” Castiel's voice was little more than a whisper, but he could tell that Dean had heard him. His hands tightened around his mug and he seemed to freeze up for a moment, his eyes going distant like he was reliving whatever memory was bad enough to give Dean nightmares every night.

"Yes." Dean's voice was cracked and broken, and Dean had to clear his throat a couple of times before he managed to get any more words out. "Yes, it's a memory of the reason I left."

Castiel frowned but didn’t ask for any details. Dean’s face was already starting to close off in anticipation of Castiel asking. Sure, he was curious and really did want to know what happened, but he also wanted Dean to trust him and he wanted Dean to be comfortable in his cabin, and the desire to have Dean happy was stronger than his curiosity.

“Alright,” he said, the word clearly startling Dean, “do you want any more hot chocolate? I’m going to make myself some more.” Dean had already talked about more than he had to, and it made sense for him to ask Cas next, and if that was going to happen then he needed more hot chocolate.

“Umm, yeah,” Dean stuttered, shock filling his every movement, “that would be nice thanks.”

Castiel smiled warmly, his body aching slightly as he stood up. The late hour and warm drink had started to soothe his body back to sleep, so it was not happy about the sudden movement. 

There was a comfortable quiet while Castiel grabbed the milk and heated it up, feeling rather frustrated when he had to use the stove rather than just waving his hand. However long he went with no magic, he never got used to it. The powder was added as soon as it was hot enough, and for the millionth time Castiel thanked the universe that he had Charlie willing to bring him necessities like hot chocolate powder.

“What about you?” Dean asked, just as Castiel finished pouring the hot chocolate into their mugs. Castiel just glanced back over in confusion, so he clarified, “what was your nightmare about?”

Castiel sighed, walking over and handing Dean his mug before he collapsed into his chair, a small amount of the steaming liquid sloshing onto the table. “My past, same as you I guess.”

“In what way?” Dean’s voice was hesitant, but still somehow determined, and Castiel knew that although Dean wouldn’t force him to answer, it was definitely common courtesy for him to match Dean. Keep them on even footing and all that.

“My nightmare,” Castiel sighed again, his voice was slightly strained, but he knew it wasn’t to be helped. It had happened years ago, but he still never talked about it. He’d told a few people, and Charlie knew - he wasn’t sure if he told her, or if she found out herself, knowing Charlie it could be either one - but he’d been in his cabin avoiding human interaction for years, and even before that he refused to talk about it. If people wanted to know, they would have to ask someone else who knew.

“My nightmare was about the event which led me to this,” Castiel tried again, this time actually managing to get the entire sentence out without grinding to a stop. When Dean just looked slightly confused, he gestured to the cabin around them, the large forest surrounding them, “all alone in a cabin in the middle of the woods with bound magic,” he clarified, staring at the four walls which protected him, while caging him in.

He was like a glamorous bird. The cage kept it safe, protected it against the dangers of the outside, but it was still a cage.

Except… Castiel wasn’t a glamorous bird. He wasn’t locked in a cage. He was sitting in one, the key was in his own hand and yet he still didn’t try to spread his wings. Instead he just crouched where he was, and wished someone would come and take the key from him. 

Dean grimaced in what was probably sympathy as he also looked round at the cabin, probably taking in all the aspects of Castiel’s life he could see just from one room. There weren't many personal possessions in the room, but that probably said a million times more than unlimited personal possessions would have. 

He lived in this house, had done for years, and yet he had nothing there to make it his own. This was his entire life, this cabin was all he went, and yet he had nothing to make it look lived in. There were empty dishes, and washing, and all kinds of signs of someone being there, but nothing to prove that the person there was living. Castiel chuckled under his breath. Was he really living? Did this count as a life?

Dean’s brow was furrowed in what was obviously thought, his fingers mindlessly fiddling with the hem of his shirt. It was obvious he had questions, and Castiel couldn’t blame him for that. You didn’t need to be a witch to figure out how unappealing Castiel’s situation was. Having a witch's magic bound was not a decision to be taken lightly, it left them as defenceless as a human, but still with the magical twang which always seemed to attract other magics, as well as trouble. Add on the fact that Castiel lived in isolation, in the middle of a forest, far away from any other humans and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that something bad had happened.

Something really bad.

Shockingly enough, Dean didn’t ask for details, which to be honest had been what Castiel was expecting. Instead the familiar frowned for a bit longer, thinking through his next words very carefully, before he slowly asked, “Is that why your magic is bound?” Castiel frowned, trying to remember what had last been said in the conversation. Before he could ask for clarification though, Dean continued, “the event which caused you to move out here? Was that what caused your magic to be bound?”

“The event was what caused my magic to be bound,” Castiel confirmed, the lack of details making it so much easier to talk about. Well, maybe it was mainly easier because it was Dean. It felt like he could say anything to Dean and he wouldn’t judge, but until he was ready for that, this detail lacking conversation worked. He was telling Dean about the biggest thing to ever happen to him, yet with no details Dean still knew nothing about it.

It was a weird feeling, but Castiel liked it. He liked the easy honesty they had between them, even if neither of them were ready to tell the full story.

“I moved out here for two reasons,” Castiel continued, creases appearing on his forehead as he thought back to that time, “it was a mixture of being unable to handle all the magic around when my own magic was bound, and needing to get away after everything that happened.”

Dean nodded in understanding, “We are both running,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically grave, “and somehow we both ended up running here.”

They both finished their hot chocolates with easy smiles, a weight off both their shoulders now that they had talked about their past, however little it actually added up to. They washed up their mugs side by side, elbows bumping and shoulders brushing. By the time the kitchen was clear Castiel was yawning again, and he was shocked to realise that he actually might fall back asleep after this.

He was just about to say goodnight when he noticed something in Dean’s expression. A weight settled in his gut when he realised what that look meant. Dean wanted to ask something, and he knew it wouldn’t be easy for Castiel to answer.

“Just ask it,” Castiel sighed, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “best get it over with, then we can both go back to sleep.” Dean flushed slightly, clearly embarrassed about being caught, but he didn’t try to say that he had nothing to say. He just squared his shoulder and asked, and for that Castiel had to respect him. Well, he already respected him, but he respected him even more for his guts. It wouldn’t have been fun if he shared a cabin with someone who was always afraid of making Castiel angry, he was glad to see that even if that was how Dean had acted at first, that wasn’t the real Dean.

“Who bound your magic?” Dean asked, his voice surprisingly even for how personal a question he was asking.

“Does it matter?” Castiel replied, his shoulders coming up to hunch around his ears. Dean clearly felt bad, if the way he rubbed at his neck was any clue, but he didn’t stop, even when he could see how uncomfortable the topic was.

“Yes, because there is a big difference between a random witch doing the ritual, and the head witch of America doing the ritual.”

Castiel thought it over, but eventually tilted his head in agreement. There was a big difference, and Castiel could tell that if the head witch had bound his magic, Dean would want to know. The head witch only got involved in very specific, very serious circumstances. That wasn’t the case here, but the point still stood.

“I did.” 

You could have heard a pin drop in the cabin, Castiel was standing still waiting for Dean’s reaction, while Dean seemed frozen in shock. Magic was a part of witches, part of their very being. No witch would choose to bind their magic, yet here was Castiel admitting that he had.

“Goodnight Dean,” Castiel sighed, turning around and starting to walk back to his room.

“Why?” Dean’s voice echoed down the hall, making him freeze in the doorway.

“My past is mine,” Castiel answered, echoing Dean’s words from when he first arrived, “and you don’t need to know any more about it.”

His footsteps sounded louder than normal as he walked back to his room, leaving a confused familiar in his kitchen, trying to figure out what could have happened which was that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> Have an awesome week!! And I'll see you at the next chapter!!


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning arrived quickly, the morning sun shining through Castiel’s windows and waking him up. His head hurt from lack of sleep, and he was barely conscious, he had no idea what time it was, but it was too early, and the need for coffee was the only thing that dragged him out of his bed.

He walked into the kitchen with his eyes half shut, his vision tunnelled on the coffee machine, so it made sense that it took him a few moments to figure out what he was seeing.

Dean was in the kitchen chair, the same one he’d been in during the night, fast asleep with his head pillowed on his arm. Castiel knew it was possible that he had woken up early, and then had fallen asleep since coming into the kitchen, but Castiel somehow knew, just from looking at Dean, that it wasn’t the case. Dean had been there for a while, almost definitely since they had talked last night.

A small frown pulled at his features as Castiel walked over to turn the coffee machine on, wondering if he should wake Dean up or if he would be better just leaving him. The angle was surely going to hurt his neck, and probably his back as well, but then again if he fell asleep at the table then he probably needed the rest.

The decision was taken out of his hands moments later - which Castiel was insanely grateful for - as the coffee machine finished making him a mug of coffee and beeped loudly. The beep, mixed with the strong smell of coffee in the air, seemed to be enough to wake Dean up.

“Dean,” Castiel hissed, testing to see if the familiar was actually awake or just sleeping with his eyes open. Castiel wasn’t even sure if that was a thing Dean did or not, he didn’t really know much about Dean at all, but he was ready to find out.

“Hmm,” Dean mumbled, clearly not completely awake, but awake enough. “Can I smell coffee?” Castiel laughed at the familiar’s sudden wakefulness, grabbing the mug which was still in the coffee machine and handing it over, setting the machine to make a new mug for himself.

“Here you go,” Castiel smiled, careful to make sure Dean didn’t burn himself while he was still just about waking up. Dean had clearly already been through too much and Castiel was going to keep him safe from as much more harm as he possibly could, even if that included stupid things like extremely minor burns.

Dean grunted his thanks, slowly sipping his drink as he looked around Castiel’s kitchen. Castiel stayed silent, sensing that Dean had something he wanted to ask, though he was a little bit scared about what it was going to be. What if Dean wanted to know why he bound his own magic? Actually, now that Castiel thought about it, he really didn’t want to have to answer questions about anything they talked about last night. In the dark of night it had been fine, but now, in the light of day even thinking about it all seemed taboo.

"What do you have for breakfast?" Dean asked, still looking around. Castiel grinned, noticing now that Dean was looking at the cupboards. Apparently both of them had decided not to talk about last night, though honestly Castiel felt like he needed to ask whether Dean had gone to bed. If Dean was sleeping at the kitchen table, then Castiel wanted to know why.

"Normally I just have toast or cereal," Castiel said with a shrug, ignoring the fact that normally he either didn't wake up until lunch, or just skipped breakfast because he couldn't be bothered.

"Alright," Dean replied, taking another sip of coffee, "I can make us pancakes if you would like?"

Castiel grinned, "that would be amazing Dean," he said happily, his smile only growing when he heard Dean rumble as he stood up to grab the ingredients. Castiel had to point out where a few things were, but he didn't really notice, still thinking about Dean's rumble.

Dean had rumbled. Like a wolf. The mixing of characteristics only ever happened when familiars felt comfortable enough not to hide who they truly are and allow their full beings to show at all times. The very fact that after two days Dean felt safe, comfortable, enough to let some wolf characteristics through, Castiel couldn't be happier, and he couldn't even find it within himself to be worried about that.

Dean stood by the stove, cooking the pancake batter while Castiel stood what probably counted as too close next to him, just watching as he cooked. Dean made a lot of pancakes, more than Castiel ever expected they would be able to eat, but Dean seemed to think it was the right amount and Castiel would never judge Dean on how much he ate. Dean needed to eat more anyway, two days of food wouldn't be enough to make up for the amount of ribs Castiel had been able to count when he first turned up.

They didn't say much as the pancakes were plated up and eaten, Castiel took a stack of three and left Dean with all the rest, just made a bit of small talk and discussed life in the middle of the forest. Castiel explained a few things which weren't vital to survive, but which Dean would probably want to know, as well as a few things Castiel had picked up over the years. It was easy and both of them were smiling as they ate, Castiel's kitchen feeling more full than it had for years.

Once they finished eating they moved to the living room, both of them squishing onto the couch and sitting shoulder to shoulder, sharing soft smiles as they relaxed back, a book each opened on their laps. There were two empty armchairs they could have sat in, but neither of them moved, happy to be in each other's space.

"Hey Cas?" Dean said, what was probably ten minutes later. This time Castiel did pick up on the nickname, and he wondered if he should mention it, but he had to admit he quite liked it and was scared that if he brought it up Dean wouldn't use it again. It was best to just pretend he didn't notice.

"Yes," he murmured, putting his bookmark into his book so that he could give Dean his full attention.

"Where is the nearest town?" Dean sounded a little bit nervous as he asked, rubbing the back of his neck again. "I didn't pass any on my way here, but there are a few things I really need to buy. I'll find a way to pay you back I-"

"It's okay," Castiel cut in before Dean could work himself into a panic, "you don't have to pay me back," he saw Dean open his mouth to argue, so Castiel quickly added, "you can find some other way to refund me, but you don't need to pay me with money." Dean seemed to relax after that, happy to not be getting Castiel’s charity, and working for what he was getting instead. Castiel was already thinking over what Dean could do, a few basic tasks which wouldn't be too hard but would be enough for Dean to think it was fair. "The nearest town is about a forty minute drive from here," he explained, trying to remember if that was right. It had been years since he had made the drive himself, but it was about forty minutes from his house to where Charlie lived, she lived on the edge of town but he doubted it would be big enough to need any extra time added on to get to the town center.

“What!” Dean practically yelled, sitting upright, his eyes wide, “it’s that close?” They were still pressed together, and Castiel could feel tiny shakes running through the familiar’s body, hopefully from adrenalin and not fear or anything like that. Castiel had no idea why anyone would be scared about their topic choice, Dean asked where the town was, and ignoring the fact that Castiel was living all alone when he could live in a town, there wasn’t anything weird going on with how close the town was. Maybe Castiel’s living situation could be seen as a bit murdery, but Dean knew him now, and he believed he had managed to get his intentions across pretty well.

Castiel frowned at his new friend, shifting slightly so their knees were pressed together, hoping that the extra contact would help calm him down. “It’s only a small town, two thousand people or so, they have a weekly market, or at least they did last time I visited.”

“You don’t go there often?” Dean asked, a hint of sadness in his eyes as he looked around the living room, just like Charlie had mere days ago.

“No.” Castiel’s voice was hesitant as he also looked round the room, trying to see what the familiars seemed to be seeing, but just like all the other times he didn’t find anything. This was his house, his cabin, what were they seeing that always made them look so sad?

“Do you have a car?” Dean asked, breaking the silence which had settled over both of them while they had been looking around the room. Castiel didn’t quite know why his car or lack of car mattered, but Dean wanted to know, and Castiel trusted Dean to not ask useless questions.

“Yes I do,” he said, “it’s at the end of the drive,” he gestured out the window to where they could just about see the top of the drive. It was on the other side of the cabin than where Dean had been running, and Castiel assumed he’d been too busy running through the woods to have a look at the what was surrounding Castiel’s cabin, especially seeing as his car was under a tarp to stop it from getting too weathered.

“Really?” Dean sounded really excited, like he hadn’t actually been expecting Castiel to say that he had one. Suddenly though, his face fell and the sadness from before reappeared in his eyes. “Then why don’t you go out more often?”

Castiel frowned for a moment, trying to figure out how he could explain to Dean his reasoning without just sounding insane. “I moved out here to avoid people,” he said hesitantly, picking at his fingers as he thought through his own thoughts. He knew that they were his own, but that didn’t change anything. He didn’t know how his own brain worked or anything. “I have a friend who brings me anything I can’t get myself from the woods,” he shrugged then, “I haven’t really had any reasons to make the drive."

Dean looked even sadder, leaning a bit more of his weight against Castiel like he expected him to need the extra support. He didn't, but it meant a lot anyway.

"When was the last time you drove that car?"

"I honestly don't know," Castiel laughed quietly, "I've had it since I moved into the cabin, so less than seven years, but since then I've probably only used it once or twice in that time. I'm a little bit out of touch with the rest of the world."

If Dean was surprised by how long Cas had been in the cabin for, he didn’t show it, instead focusing straight onto the car.

"Does it even still work?" Dean asked, his eyes wide. He was still shaking, but this time it was more excitement than fear. Castiel wondered if he should ask why Dean had been scared in the first place, but it didn't seem important anymore. The time had passed, now it was time to focus on everything else. 

Castiel shrugged. "I have no idea, I've never had to find out."

Dean is definitely shaking with excitement now. "Can I check it out? As long as it just needs basic maintenance I'll be able to fix it."

"You know how to fix cars?" Castiel asked, smiling when he saw how Dean's eyes lit up.

"Yeah I used to do it all the time! I'm not as in practice as I used to be, but I should remember enough!"

The 'should' was putting Castiel a little bit on edge, but Dean looked so excited that he couldn't bear to say anything. He would just have to make sure to keep an eye on him and keep the first aid kit well stocked.

If this was something Dean cared about, then Castiel was happy to let him choose what he thought was safe or unsafe, and Castiel would only step in if he got too worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! See you next week!!


End file.
